Innovation-In-A-Box Operating Instructions

Dear Customer,

Thank you for buying Innovation-In-A-Box, the only product you’ll ever need to buy to drive innovation across your organisation.

Unpacking Instructions

  • Innovation-In-A-Box contains fragile components, such as creativity, precious flip charts, and colourful posters. These can be damaged if care is not exercised during unpacking. Also note the consultant inside the box is a real, live creature and will be upset if you don’t treat it with love and attention.
  • To unpack, carefully remove all the components, making sure everything on the packing list is inside the box. Especially be careful to ensure all white board markers have their lids firmly affixed: during shipping, the consultant may have opened some of them and scrawled on the inside of the box. This is perfectly normal, and you may discard the box after installation in any case.

Installing Innovation-In-A-Box

  • Take the consultant and the other contents of the box to a brightly coloured room with many whiteboards.
  • Make sure there are plenty of bean-bags, and eliminate any signs the room has anything to do with business. Your consultant will be much happier if it doesn’t know it is in a place of work.
  • In order to prevent interference with your product, make sure any previous attempts at innovation have been cleaned up before you install Innovation-In-A-Box. Previous innovations will sometimes cause unpredictable results.

Turning on for the first time

  • Remove the sticky paper across the mouth of your consultant.
  • Do not be alarmed if this results in a long stream of probably unreleated verbiage: this is normal behaviour and your consultant will stabalise itself quickly
  • After Innovation-In-A-Box has completed booting, your consultant will ask: “What is your innovation challenge today?”
  • Commence the run with a small, not that strategic response, to make sure everything is working.
  • Your Innovaton-In-A-Box product is now installed and working

Turning off Innovation-In-A-Box

  • Just turn out the lights and leave the room. Your consultant will likely continue to talk and mark up white-boards. This is normal: Innovation-In-A-Box is designed for constant operation over the course of its useful life.

Disposal of Innovation-In-A-Box

  • You will have many months of useful life from Innovation-In-A-Box. However, the product will eventually stop working when your consultant runs out of words.
  • Please do not throw away Innovation-In-A-Box as its compoents can be recycled and reconditioned. Also, consultants may be a bio-hazard if not correctly disposed of.
  • When you return the contents of Innovation-In-A-Box (make sure you include the consultant) we will provide you a working replacement product for the service fee contained in your contract.

We hope you enjoy Innovation-In-A-Box and it works without problems. However, our customer support line is open 24 hours a day if you need any assistance with your product. All calls are charged at $2 per minute, and more from cell phones.

2 Responses to“Innovation-In-A-Box Operating Instructions”

  1. August 18, 2011 at 1:56 pm #

    Hahahaha! I had the feeling that you thoroughly enjoyed writing this one in particular.

    I also had the unusual feeling of swinging back and forth between “This is so funny” and “This is so poignant.”

    • James Gardner
      August 18, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

      Hello Alison,

      I really did enjoy writing it… but of course there was a serious message behind it all as well. I was triggered to do so by a particularly terrible example of an innovation consulting assignment, but most people have seen more the funny side for which I am grateful.

      Thank you for commenting!

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